“Hey! I think I’m getting Orange Crush over here.”

“Bootsy! … Booooooootsy! … We are calling you from the world of the living! … Meowwww! … Are you there, Bootsy? … Give us a sign!”

“Boy, everyone’s really out wandering the streets tonight. … I tell you, Charles, we’re getting to be real home zombies.”

And then, just as he predicted, Thag became the spiritual channeler for a two-million-year-old gibbon named Gus.

“So … you must be the one they call Mr. Long.”

Source

You never see it coming.

“Anytime, Slim.”

Source

“Holy cow! What’s gotten into our La-Z-Boy?”

For several hours, confusion reigned.

Source

“CANNONBAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!”

Anatidaephobia: the fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you.

Darren’s heart quickened: Once inside the home, and once the demonstration was in full swing, a sale was inevitable.

“Can I look now?”

And for the rest of his life, Ernie told his friends that he had talked with God.

Source