Hello, my friend :)

I’m writing from the kitchen table at a friend’s flat in London. It’s 9am, around 11°C (52°F) and looks like we’re in for yet another classic British forecast: some sun, some cloud, some rain, and a little wind to mix it all up and sprinkle it throughout the day. Note that I’m not complaining! This weather is similar to what I would be experiencing at home. I’m only talking about it because that’s what you do in the UK. ;)

I’ve been in England for a month now, and it’s taken that long for me to feel like I can settle in and get some actual work done now. That’s not good or bad. It’s just something I’m going to have to think more about, as I continue to map out my travels. Because I’ve been here before, I assumed I would be able to quickly settle into a routine of writing, going for long walks, cooking, seeing some friends, etc. Of course, it’s never as simple as we want it to be, is it?

Within 5 days of being here, I reconnected with someone I met last year and our first conversation quickly opened my eyes and shifted one of my priorities. At the same time, it only took one trip to the grocery store for me to be faced with a new truth: that my thoughts and values around the consumption of single-use plastics have changed dramatically over the past year, and I feel really (read: really) uncomfortable shopping here now, where nearly everything is wrapped in it.

Before I left Victoria, I had coffee with an old friend I hadn’t seen in a few years. When we said goodbye, he hugged me and whispered, “you know you’re going to come back changed, right?” It hit me hard, and felt like the most honest thing someone had ever said to me. I said yes and, one month later, I can confirm that he was right. But it’s also true that I changed even before I left. I just didn’t know it, until I returned to somewhere I’d been before and saw it with new eyes.

Anyway, I still haven’t dug deep enough into those thoughts or feelings yet, to make more sense of them or figure out what’s next for me. What I have done is kept a detailed journal of everything I’ve done so far on this trip, along with little notes so I can remember what I was thinking while I was here. In flipping through the pages, I realized that some of my notes might actually be helpful for others. So I’ve compiled a list of 30 thoughts to share from my first 30 days away.

I hope at least one of them feels good for you. :)

1. Sometimes meeting someone one time is good enough, and you should leave the memory at that.
2. Sometimes meeting someone a second and third time proves to be better, and you realize you might have even more in common than you thought the first time.
3. You won’t know who the “one time only” people are, until you see them a second or third time.
4. You can change a lot in a year.
5. Your values can change a lot in a year too.
6. The people you can sit in silence with, or quietly read your own books together with, are special. It’s strange how being silent with someone can actually be more memorable than forcing your way through a conversation.
7. When you’re unexpectedly in the same place as someone at the same time, make plans. The universe wants you to spend time together.
8. It’s not always a good idea to meet your heroes. But sometimes, you meet them and are pleasantly surprised to discover they are exactly who you hoped they would be.
9. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. (I already knew this lesson, but have been reminded of it a few times.)
10. There are people who understand you and people who never will. Don’t try to force the latter. It’s ok if only a few people really understand you. It’s a gift to have even one.
11. You don’t owe anyone an interaction. Hard stop.
12. Being a beginner sucks most of the time, until you’re no longer a beginner. When you start to see the early signs of your efforts paying off, you’ll be glad you tried something new.
13. Being self-aware is exhausting. But it can also be a gift for you and everyone who comes into your life.
14. You don’t have to always be right. One day, you will overhear a stranger from another country try to explain something silly/inconsequential about yours. And they will get it all wrong, but tell the story with such enthusiasm that you can’t bear to tell them the truth. So, don’t! Let them think they are right. Who is it really hurting?
15. It can feel really good to do regular daily life things in new cities.
16. Move at the pace that feels natural to you.
17. “Treat everyone you meet like an old friend.” (I first read this quote in a book last year, and have thought about it almost every day since—especially when it comes to dating.)
18. Rejection isn’t about you. Even if it seems like it is, it’s really not.
19. A breakup won’t be the worst thing you go through. You’ve survived worse.
20. The kindest thing you can do is let someone go on their own journey, even if it doesn’t include you.
21. Don’t be afraid to tell people what positive impact they’ve had on you. We don’t do this enough, probably because it’s scary. But put yourself in their shoes. Wouldn’t it be nice to hear how you had helped someone?
22. The thought of trying to do anything to help the planet is so overwhelming, because you quickly realize that basically everything you do is bad for the planet. Turn the dial back and remember what ONE thing sparked these spiralling thoughts. Start with that.
23. All you can do is live according to your values.
24. When someone invites you to go on an adventure, don’t ask too many questions. Say yes, pack water/snacks and go.
25. The state of your space is the state of your mind.
26. Decluttering is just a tool. You need to dig up the root(s) cause, so it doesn’t keep spreading and you aren’t clearing out the mess again every 5-10 years.
27. There’s no point in earning more money or being successful if you aren’t sharing it with people/the world.
28. Nothing matters more than the health of you and your loved ones.
29. When it comes to big/tough decisions, take your ego out of the equation and then ask yourself what you should do.
30. When in doubt, rent the pedal boat. You will laugh. A LOT.

xx Cait

PS – I wrote the intro to this newsletter in my journal, and am thinking about writing them all like that while I’m away and, of course, sharing them with you! It feels like I’m writing a letter to a friend (and who doesn’t love snail mail?). The tone will naturally be much more conversational, but I’m curious if my writing will get any better as time goes on and I can’t constantly self-edit? I won’t know, unless I try! Here’s to new experiments and being a beginner again. :)

This was originally shared in my newsletter.