Old Christmas tree, Old Christmas tree!
How are thy leaves so plastic!
Old Christmas tree, Old Christmas tree,
I’m not being sarcastic

In the loft in the summertime,
I get thee down at Christmastime
Old Christmas tree, Old Christmas tree,
I think thou art quite broken

Old Christmas tree, Old Christmas tree,
Much pleasure did thou bring me!
Old Christmas tree, Old Christmas tree,
But now thou art quite sad to see

Year on year this Christmas tree,
Becomes less than it used to be
Old Christmas tree, Old Christmas tree,
Quite the plastic tragedy

Old Christmas tree, Old Christmas tree,
Thy lights are always tangled
Old Christmas tree, Old Christmas tree,
Thy branches are now mangled

Each bough hath given up the fight,
The thing won’t last the whole fortnight
Old Christmas tree, Old Christmas tree,
Thou art a tad unsightly