1. The Bull—- Market

It’s too bad the March Madness moniker is already taken, because there aren’t a lot of better ways to describe the latest mad-making weekend in geopolitics. In a social media post, Trump gave Iran a 48-hour ultimatum to open the Strait of Hormuz or he’d start bombing power plants. Iran issued counter-threats about hitting other power and desalination plants in the region. By Monday morning, Trump had backed off his original ultimatum, saying that the highly inexperienced and highly conflicted team of Kushner and Witkoff had some productive talks with Iranian leadership. Iran went so far, we’re told, as to agree not to have a nuclear weapon. The Iranian side insists that no such talks took place, and given Trump’s track record with honesty (including when it comes to this war), it’s hard to imagine he’s the one telling the truth (even when being measured against what’s left of one of the world’s most awful and perennially mendacious regimes). To summarize, an unstable leader leading an optional war made threats via social media and then rescinded them based on what appears to be imaginary talks and then lied about the whole thing, leaving our strategy unclear, our goals still a mystery, and a key energy route still closed. And the market responded to this mind-boggling instability (and what looks a lot like its own manipulation) by … soaring. Yes, the same market we’ve long depended on to be an unemotional measure of corporate health and future earnings, dependent on stable leadership and the rule of law, seems to be going as insane as the rest of us. We’re talking crazy money, here. Before we follow the money, shouldn’t we consider who the money is following? It’s not like investors aren’t aware that the person whose words are dramatically moving the market is known for constant lying. But they’re still buying his BS. Trump has given new meaning to the phrase, bull market. Don’t get me wrong. My portfolio is as relieved as yours. But it sure seems like the market is in denial about what’s going on in American politics. Or maybe, like the rest of us, the market was happily distracted while tracking college basketball brackets over the weekend — at least there, we’re supposed to have madness.

2. It’s Not the Size, It’s the Technique

One thing we’ve learned in Ukraine and the Gulf is that war is being transformed by cheap drones, big data, and AI. In this video, Fareed Zakaria examines Iran’s military response to US, Israeli airstrikes and says that it represents a new military architecture that is challenging the old model of military supremacy. “What used to require great industrial nations capacity can increasingly be assembled, adapted and scaled by much smaller states. The economics of war are being turned upside down.” In some ways, this trend levels the military playing field

+ Technology is completely changing war, often in unimagined ways. Consider Iran’s surveillance society. The regime installed cameras to track its own citizens. Those cameras were hacked to help provide accurate locations on targets, including Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. Iran built a vast camera network to control dissent. Israel turned it into a targeting tool.

3. Not Going Anywhere For a While

“Security lines stretched for hours on Monday at US airports where unpaid Transportation Safety Administration screening agents refused to report for duty.” So far, Trump has rejected proposed deals to fund parts of DHS to create an off-ramp for the nightmare delays taking place at many airports. The solution so far: Send ICE into airports. (Untrained ICE officers vs Irate Travelers. What could go wrong?)

+ “Two pilots were killed and dozens were injured Sunday night after an arriving plane collided with a fire truck on a runway at New York’s LaGuardia Airport.”

+ The Atlantic (Gift Article): Fatal crashes, overstressed controllers, and endless security lines reveal a system teetering on the brink of failure. (I’m guessing anyone reading this in an endless airport security line thinks we’ve passed the teetering stage.)

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4. Paper and Fire

“The body lay slumped on the jail floor, curled around a metal toilet. Investigators found no evidence of homicide, just a few scraps of rolled-up paper, singed and scattered on the floor like scorched confetti. For months, inmates had been falling ill at the Cook County jail in Chicago. Officials said they had heard rumors that extremely toxic drugs were infiltrating the facility, delivered on something so ordinary that it seemed impossible to stop … The paper itself must be the culprit — and it was deadly.” NYT (Gift Article): No Pills or Needles, Just Paper: How Deadly Drugs Are Changing. And what’s happening in jails is likely coming to a street corner near you. “The unbridled rise of synthetic drugs is as profound for the illicit drug market as the television was for the radio, or the computer for the typewriter, scientists say, and it is confounding law enforcement officials the world over. ‘This is the modern drug epidemic: It’s like nothing that’s happened in the world before — anywhere.'”

5. Extra, Extra

Things Are Going Bad, Stat: “I’m an E.R. doc, so I handle stress pretty well. But this was like being in a mass disaster nonstop for eight months.” … “I don’t think it is well understood that we’re not going to see the outcomes of all of this until Trump is long gone.” NYT (Gift Article) talked to 43 current and former CDC employees. The prognosis is not good. Inside the Turmoil at Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s C.D.C.

+ Robert Mueller: “Good, I’m Glad He’s Dead.” Disgustingly (but unsurprisingly), that’s how Trump responded to the death of Robert Mueller. From Garrett Graff: Remembering Robert Mueller. “Robert Mueller, the quintessential G-Man, a patriot and Purple Heart recipient who spent a half-century serving the country and pursuing the highest traditions of the Justice Department across six presidential administrations, repeatedly answering the nation’s call — from Vietnam to the halls of the J. Edgar Hoover building and the halls of Main Justice — until in his final chapter of public service he was betrayed by a former colleague and the Republican Party he’d spent a lifetime supporting, died Friday.”

+ Mail Pattern Boldness: “The Supreme Court’s conservative majority on Monday sounded skeptical of state laws that allow the counting of late-arriving mail ballots, a persistent target of President Donald Trump.” (Most of us are ready to mail in our ballots right now.)

+ Trouble in Paradise: “Over the weekend, heavy rains fell on soil already saturated by downpours from a winter storm a week ago, forcing thousands on the North Shore of Oahu to evacuate before more evacuations for parts of the island of Maui.” Hawaii assesses damage left by worst flooding in more than 20 years.

+ Havana Hunch: “Trump’s campaign to topple foreign adversaries encounters a battered but defiant regime.” No, we’re not talking about Iran. (Or Greenland.) Jon Lee Anderson in The New Yorker: Is Cuba Next?

+ Going Postal: “In dozens of thinly populated regions across the country, Amazon is building new delivery hubs to deliver packages in around two days. That might not seem especially rapid at a time when the e-commerce giant is introducing one-hour delivery in some areas, but residents of some far-flung Montana hamlets were used to waiting up to a week for their orders. The effort helps Amazon reduce its reliance on the U.S. Postal Service, a relationship that has become rocky following a dispute over contract terms.” WSJ (Gift Article): How Amazon Is Bringing Fast Delivery to Rural America.

+ Fan Base: “A Northwestern University graduate with a degree in economics, Radvinsky helped transform online p-rnography from an industry based mostly on bulk delivery of advertising-supported X-rated videos to something like an adult-themed hybrid of the gig economy and social media.” OnlyFans Owner Leo Radvinsky Dies at 43.

6. Bottom of the News

“Senior living resident Anita LeBrun wants to ‘cheers’ her friends with something stronger than grape juice. LeBrun is going viral for her testimony at a Minnesota House of Representatives committee meeting, where legislators considered the so-called ‘Grandparents’ Happy Hour’ bill that would allow group homes to serve alcohol to their residents and guests.”

+ “No twerking! You will be charged with disorderly conduct!” Cops ban over-the-top twerking at legendary Florida party beach. (Can a Footloose sequel be far behind?)

1. Qualm Before the Storm

Parents being confronted with perplexing questions from their kids is nothing new. But today’s parents of college or so aged children are faced with a doozy when it comes to giving advice about entering the rapidly changing job market. Career paths that were recently considered the safest route forward have suddenly turned a corner, and are now heading straight into the oncoming headlights of the AI convoy. When my kids bring up the topic, I suggest that getting career advice from a guy who writes a newsletter with no revenue model might not be the wisest idea. “Maybe you should ask Claude.” Making matters even worse (which is the defining characteristic of 2026), today’s job market is terrible for recent college graduates, and that has almost nothing to do with new technology. “Although AI may be replacing some entry-level jobs on the margins, there is little evidence it is the main culprit — at least not yet. Rather, many economists believe employment challenges for young people with college degrees stem more from the ‘low hire, low fire’ dynamics in the labor market.” NYT (Gift Article): Young Graduates Face the Grimmest Job Market in Years.

+ Aside from becoming a billionaire (they seem to be doing great these days, so why not?), is there a safe spot in the job market of the near future? WSJ (Gift Article): Why Healthcare Is Doing the Heavy Lifting in This Job Market. “Forget the AI hype and the data-center boom. What’s keeping the jobs market afloat these days is Grandma and Grandpa … Strip out the medical sector, and the rest of the American economy is actually losing jobs.”

2. Derrick and the Dominos

And I said, “Hey kid, you think that’s oil? Man, that ain’t oil, that’s blood.” Bruce Springsteen, Lost in the Flood.

As “the founding director of the Center on Global Energy Policy at Columbia University’s School of International and Public Affairs and a co-founding dean of the Columbia Climate School” (and a very serious Bruce Springsteen fan), there are few people who understand the global energy market better than Jason Bordoff. Thankfully, Jason also excels at explaining energy issues in clear terms that the rest of us can understand. Since energy, particularly the oil that used to travel through the Strait of Hormuz, is now at the core of the Iran war, it’s a good time to catch up on what’s happening and what’s at stake. Ezra Klein interviewed Jason Bordoff earlier this week on his podcast. NYT (Gift Article): What Happens if 20 Percent of the World’s Oil Disappears? “The Gulf — the Middle East — we all know, since the 1970s, is a huge energy producer: Iraq, Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates, Iran, of course. All of that oil, most of it, flows by tanker through this very narrow strait that juts like a little triangle around a corner, and it’s right where Iran is. So it doesn’t take that much with some drones or explosives in a dinghy boat racing out to a tanker … You’re talking about a disruption of about 10 million barrels of oil, maybe a little bit more — so more than 10 percent of global supply. During the Arab oil embargo in 1973, in contrast, you saw about 6 or 7 percent of world supply disrupted. So this is by far the largest energy supply disruption we have ever seen.” (You’ll have to read or listen to the end for the Springsteen-related tips…)

+ For most of the world, the oil and energy wars are creating chaos, concern, and higher prices. For some people, the massive price swings, often driven by presidential tweets, present quite the opportunity. “Traders bet hundreds of millions of dollars on oil contracts just minutes before US President Donald Trump announced on Monday that the US would postpone strikes against Iranian energy infrastructure. Market data reviewed by the BBC shows the volume of trade spiked around fifteen minutes before a social media post by the president announcing the move.”

+ “Trump’s sudden climb-down was startling. Who could have seen this coming? The answer is, the person or people who bought large quantities of stock market futures and sold large quantities of oil futures around 15 minutes before Trump’s announcement.” Paul Krugman: Treason in the Futures Markets.

+ How will the market respond to the instability and madness spreading from the Oval Office across the globe? You’d think it would be concerned. But, as I explained yesterday, it’s a Bull—- Market.

3. All Bets Are On

“Senators Adam Schiff (D-CA) and John Curtis (R-UT) introduced a bill on Monday that could prevent prediction market platforms Kalshi and Polymarket from allowing users to wager money on sports events or play casino-style games.” Don Jr. has financial relationships with both leading prediction markets, so it’s unlikely that we’ll see them reined in anytime soon. Meanwhile, while people love sports betting, they’re quickly getting used to betting on everything. David Wallace-Wells on The Casino That’s Eating the World. “‘The long-term vision is to financialize everything and create a tradable asset out of any difference in opinion,’ Tarek Mansour, the chief executive of another major prediction market, Kalshi, declared in November. But who wants this future, besides perhaps inveterate gamblers and those people who profit off them?” (Bingo. And I mean Bingo as in that’s exactly right, not Bingo the casino game…)

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4. Stuck in the Middle

Like many middle powers that used to be able to depend on the United States, Canada finds itself looking to establish its place in the new world order. There will be political challenges. There will also be challenges from Mother Nature. NYT (Gift Article): In Canada’s Frozen North, With Canada’s Frozen Soldiers. “Canada’s military ambitions in the Arctic hinged on a frozen door that wouldn’t open … ‘It’s frozen,’ said an air force detachment commander, ‘frozen shut.’ That left the force’s Chinook helicopter out in the cold. As Canada’s armed forces launched their biggest-ever Arctic exercise, soldiers blasted mobile heaters in an effort to open the hangar door and haul in the Chinook, which had been grounded by a mechanical problem and the extreme temperatures.” (It might be faster just to wait for climate change to open the door…)

5. Extra, Extra

Prince Charming King? “In a series of conversations over the last week, Prince Mohammed has conveyed to Mr. Trump that he must press toward the destruction of Iran’s hard-line government, the people familiar with the conversations said. Prince Mohammed, the people familiar with the discussions said, has argued that Iran poses a long-term threat to the Gulf that can only be eliminated by getting rid of the government.” NYT (Gift Article): Saudi Leader Is Said to Push Trump to Continue Iran War in Recent Calls. Meanwhile, “Pakistan’s military leadership has been attempting to broker negotiations between the US and Iran, after the White House confirmed that Pakistan’s army chief, Asim Munir, had a call with Donald Trump on Sunday to discuss the conflict.” JD Vance is being floated as a lead negotiator. Here’s the latest from The Guardian.

+ Mullin Mulled Over: Markwayne Mullin confirmed as the next secretary of Homeland Security. (On the plus side, he’s almost certain not to be the worst person ever to hold that job.)

+ Moonstruck: “NASA plans to invest $20 billion over the next seven years to develop a base on the surface of the moon, the latest major strategy shakeup aimed at enabling humans to live on the lunar surface long-term.” (That sounds like too much money to spend, unless we all get to decide who to send there first.)

+ Cheet Sheet: Can an entire political movement be summed up in one headline? Probably not, but we can try. Trump, Who Calls Mail-in Voting ‘Cheating,’ Just Voted by Mail.

+ Betrayed: “Mohammad Nazeer Paktiawal, 41, who was known to his family and friends as Nazeer, served alongside U.S. Army Special Forces in Paktika province – one of the most dangerous in Afghanistan – starting in 2005 … He and his family were evacuated when the pro-U.S. government in Kabul fell to the Taliban in 2021.” How an Afghan man who aided U.S. military forces died in ICE custody in Texas. And from Pro Publica: Trump Has Detained the Parents of More Than 11,000 U.S. Citizen Kids. (Feel safer?)

+ Foul Wind: “French energy company TotalEnergies has agreed to abandon two Atlantic offshore wind projects after the Trump administration offered to buy out its federal leases for close to $1 billion, with the money to be redirected into fossil fuel development.”

+ Cold Reception: “Americans have learned to live with ads on smartphones and other devices as a necessary trade-off of connectivity. They’ve also gotten used to growing intrusions in the physical world, where everything from bathroom stalls to taxicab seats have become fair game for marketers. But the kitchen remained largely off-limits.” Until now. Ads Are Popping Up on the Fridge and It Isn’t Going Over Well.

6. Bottom of the News

“A Maryland man who made history as the first quadruple amputee to compete in the professional, televised American Cornhole League has been arrested on suspicion of shooting and killing a passenger in his car during an argument.”

1. Talk to My Agent

With Opening Day upon us, it seems like a reasonable time to go over the lineup: Who’s on first, What’s on second, and I Don’t Know is on third. While that old Abbott and Costello routine has been around for nearly a century, the questions it poses are more timely than ever in our AI-driven world, when we frequently don’t know who or what we’re talking to. The latest tech craze is AI agents that are being used to manage tasks previously completed by you. The more you use the agent, the more it knows about you, and the more it can be deployed to act on your behalf. Which leads us to a headline like this from the NYT (Gift Article): Sorry, Mom. You’re Chatting With an A.I. Agent, Not Your Son. “Will Laverty, 18, a software engineer who came to San Francisco from Australia a month ago, had a backlog of texts from friends and family asking what he had been up to in California. While it made him feel ‘kind of guilty,’ he put his parents in a group chat with his A.I. agent. ‘Pretty much all the things I wanted to tell them in my head, it already knew about from tracking everything about my life, and it could just tell them without me having to think.'”

+ In a world where AI can represent you, how will you be able to prove that you are really you? Just this month, Benjamin Netanyahu had to release a series of proof of life videos after an image that made it look like he had a sixth finger went viral. Many people are still convinced he’s dead. This represents a big problem for world leaders, but it also represents a big problem for everyone else. Experts are now recommending that you and your family members have a code word that you can use to prove you’re who you say you are. The BBC’s Thomas Germain decided to run a little test to see if he could prove he’s real. I tried to prove I’m not AI. My aunt wasn’t convinced. (Here’s a dead giveaway when it comes to my identity. If you contact me during tonight’s Giants-Yankees opening night game and I respond, it’s definitely AI.)

2. Thou Dost Protest Too Little

Earlier this week, Patti Smith, Bruce Springsteen, and Michael Stipe performed at Democracy Now’s 30th Anniversary event. While I’m inspired that many musical legends have risen to the moment (and can’t wait for Springsteen’s Land of Hope and Dreams tour to arrive in San Francisco), I worry that what we’re seeing isn’t exactly a youth movement. (And no, you can’t count Neil Young as a Young person.) Why are the college students and other young people who were so fired up to protest an Israel-Hamas battle on the other side of the world largely sitting on their hands when it comes to the dismantling of American democracy, including the betrayal of allies, the killing of Americans, and what appears to be a strategy-free war of choice? Rose Horowitch in The Atlantic (Gift Article) attempts to give a few answers to that question (though I imagine there are many more). Where Are All the Campus Protests?

+ At universities, are we seeing more knee-bending than fist raising? Boston University Pulls Pride Flags, Raising Free Speech Worries.

3. Let’s Tray Table the Issue

“Almost everywhere you look, there’s airline trouble. A tragic crash at LaGuardia Airport. Long lines at airport security. Thousands of cancellations because of bad weather in Dallas and Atlanta. Higher prices. More proposed airline mergers. And a spate of near misses in the sky. You could blame human error or partisan fights in Washington for some of these issues, but there is a deeper story behind the turbulence: Nearly half a century ago, the U.S. government abandoned its position that regulation and investment were critical elements for America’s transportation infrastructure.” Ganesh Sitaraman in the NYT (Gift Article): This Is Why Flying Is So Awful.

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4. Will They Reap the Harvest?

“I’ve heard all the arguments both for and against legalizing online gambling. What I think is missing from that conversation is the fact that it’s not really just gambling online that has been legalized. What has been legalized is extraction, and the new methods of extraction that are possible using the internet and mobile devices. These companies have identified a group of people with a monetizable compulsion, and we have legalized the tools needed to industrially harvest money from them.” Defector: Why I Got Out Of The Gambling Business.

5. Extra, Extra

Platform Over Function: “What makes the Los Angeles case unique is that, rather than trying to persuade the jury that the content on Meta and YouTube is harmful, the plaintiff’s attorneys framed the case around the actual design of the social media platforms.” Meta, YouTube found negligent in landmark social media addiction lawsuit. This is the second big tech-related decision this week. “A New Mexico jury determined Tuesday that Meta knowingly harmed children’s mental health and concealed what it knew about child sexual exploitation on its social media platforms, a verdict that signals a changing tide against tech companies and the government’s willingness to crack down.”

+ A Peace of Work: “Various news agencies and Iranian state media have reported that Tehran has responded ‘negatively’ to the US proposal to end the war, but there are contradictory statements over whether it has rejected it outright. Reuters news agency, citing a senior Iranian official, reported that Tehran’s initial response to the proposal was ‘not positive’ but that it was still reviewing it. That is at odds with a report by the Iranian state-owned Press TV, which quoted a senior political security official saying Tehran has rejected the proposal, while putting forward its own conditions to end the war. Meanwhile, Iran’s semi-official Fars news agency, citing a ‘knowledegable source’, reported that Tehran will not accept a ceasefire and believes it would not be ‘logical’ to enter talks.” In other words, the peace talks are as confusing as the war has been. Here’s the latest from The Guardian and AP.

+ Putin New Perspective: “In February, something shifted. Mr. Putin began, suddenly, to pay attention to the flagging economy. There were even signs he might be changing his mind on negotiations with Ukraine, perhaps seeking an exit from the conflict. Then came the war in Iran.” For Putin, the War in Iran Changed Everything.

+ Blue Devil and Red Devil: “As a boy, Majok Bior escaped a country engulfed in war. As a gifted student, he won a full scholarship to Duke University and looked toward a dazzling future. Bior studied computer science at the North Carolina campus during his freshman year and was a winger on an intramural soccer team. After finishing the fall semester of his sophomore year, Bior returned to Uganda for winter break. He played chess with friends and recounted the brutal winters and demands of chemistry class. Then President Trump began to ban students from Africa, starting with South Sudan where Bior was born. He hasn’t returned to campus since.” WSJ (Gift Article): He Had a Full Ride at Duke—Until America Cut Him Off. (Feel safer?)

+ Lactose Intolerant: “The video was meant to show that the U.S. military, which for months has bombed boats it says are carrying drugs from South America, was ‘now bombing Narco Terrorists on land,’ Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth wrote on social media.” NYT (Gift Article): The U.S. Said It Helped Bomb a Drug Camp. It Was a Dairy Farm.

+ Viewfinder: Wapo (Gift Article): In Trump’s war messaging, veterans see something new — and disturbing. “Service members and families who lost loved ones say the Trump team’s memes and jokes trivialize combat and sacrifice. Trump aides say the backlash sends views soaring.” (And these days, what matters more than views?)

+ Resort Re-Sorted “Democrat Emily Gregory won a special election Tuesday for the Florida state House district that includes President Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort, flipping the seat from Republican control.”

6. Bottom of the News

“In a social media post, the fire department said cleanup has been slow as the Missouri Department of Transportation works with the truck company’s insurance carrier.” Wrecked truck carrying tofu stinks up Missouri town.

+ Travelers passing through Philadelphia International Airport on Tuesday may have expected long security lines. But the longest line was made of cheesesteaks.

1. Platform Over Function

A couple decades after its launch, Facebook has been held accountable by juries for its addictive and otherwise damaging qualities. “A New Mexico jury on Tuesday found that Meta exposed minors to harmful content, including online solicitation, sexually explicit content and human trafficking under consumer-protection laws. Within 24 hours, a Los Angeles jury issued a verdict in a similar case, saying Meta and YouTube contributed to mental-health issues of a 20-year-old woman, Kaley G.M., because of the addictive nature of its products.” What is different about these cases is that instead of targeting the content on these sites which has been protected by Section 230 of the 1996 Communications Decency Act, plaintiffs went after the actual design of the products themselves. The damages hardly amount to a rounding error for a company like Meta, but the success of the new legal strategy will undoubtedly lead to a slew of new cases, some of which are already in progress, leading many to ask the question posed by the WSJ (Gift Article): Do Back-to-Back Courtroom Losses Herald Meta’s ‘Big Tobacco’ Moment?

+ Regardless of where you come down on the merits of these particular cases, or whether you think social media product designs can legitimately be distinguished from speech, there’s no doubt that these sites and apps are designed to use every trick and tech to compete with equally well-armed competitors to capture and hold as much of your attention (and often mis-informed outrage) as possible. While the old-school sites like Facebook have evolved into corporations that are willing to deploy addictive products because share price trumps the public good, newer products like the prediction markets have been quite intentionally built from the ground up to use every technique from Vegas to Silicon Valley to get you hooked. However these cases proceed, it’s hard not to think that what’s being fought out in courtrooms is actually yesterday’s battle, since users are already shifting their attention to artificial intelligence — and with the size of the bets corporations, investors, big banks, and others are making on this next big thing, the pressure to addict you (and the tech to do so) is more powerful than it’s ever been. Is this big tech’s tobacco moment? It may not matter. Big tech has already rolled up smokes that are way stronger, and we’re all lining up to take a puff.

+ NYT (Gift Article): What to Know About the Social Media Addiction Trials.

+ Om Malik on the political forces driving the cases, and what they might mean in terms of actual change. Meta’s May Day. “Underneath the political theater, the structural demands are real. And if a judge grants even a portion of them, they could change daily life for two billion people.” (Give or take a couple billion, that’s exactly what I feel I’ve done with NextDraft…)

2. Call Stall

“The kids are a little different here in Greystones. In 2023, the Irish seaside town just south of Dublin launched a grass-roots initiative led by local parents, school principals and community members to loosen the grip of technology on their younger kids by adopting a voluntary ‘no smart devices’ code and supporting it with workshops and social events. Three years later, no one in Greystones claims to have cured the ills of modern technology. But they’ve learned that they can’t do anything about it one child at a time. Only a townwide effort could defang the kids’ ‘everyone else has one’ argument.’ ‘With social media, it’s a collective thing,’ said Jennifer Whitmore, a member of Irish parliament and a Greystones mother of four. ‘Addressing it in a clustered manner is the way to go.'” NYT (Gift Article): A Phone-Free Childhood? One Irish Village Is Making It Happen. (Wait, how do they execute family-wide group orders on DoorDash…)

3. Blockade Blocks Aid

“The U.S. oil blockade on Cuba is fast exhausting the country’s supply of fuel, causing daily blackouts, food shortages, canceled classes and black-market gas prices approaching $40 a gallon. It is also crippling Cuba’s universal health care system, a state institution once considered a triumph for a poor nation, but is now struggling to provide basic care. In interviews, six Cuban doctors said that rapidly deteriorating conditions at hospitals and clinics across Cuba were causing deaths that would otherwise be preventable.” In theory, this blockade is intended to weaken the current government and ultimately make life better for Cubans. That was also part of the reasoning for the war in Iran. But somehow, things don’t always seem to work out for the citizens supposedly being helped. NYT (Gift Article): Cuban Patients Are Dying Because of U.S. Blockade, Doctors Say.

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4. Asking for Oral

“It’s a testing method as old as Socrates and making a comeback in the AI age. A growing number of college professors say they are turning to oral exams, and combining a variety of old-fashioned and cutting-edge techniques, to help address a crisis in higher education. ‘You won’t be able to AI your way through an oral exam,’ says Schaffer, who introduced the oral defense last semester.” Perfect homework, blank stares: Why colleges are turning to oral exams to combat AI.

5. Extra, Extra

+ God Help Us: “Let every round find its mark against the enemies of righteousness and our great nation … Give them wisdom in every decision, endurance for the trial ahead, unbreakable unity, and overwhelming violence of action against those who deserve no mercy.” At Pentagon Christian service, Hegseth prays for violence ‘against those who deserve no mercy.’ (This guy is like Robert McNamara speaking in tongues.) Hegseth’s prayers have been answered, over and over, in the Caribbean. U.S. Military Kills 4 People in Boat Strike.

+ A Peace of Work: “I read a story today that I’m desperate to make a deal. I’m the opposite of desperate. I don’t care.” And with that, here’s the latest on the Iran war and what may or may not be peace talks that may or may not be happening. Trump may not care, but you can bet Zelensky does. Pentagon considers diverting Ukraine military aid to the Middle East. This would be more good news for Putin. Meanwhile … Russia sends drones to Iran according to Western intelligence.

+ Error Port: “While a traveler’s struggle to stay sane in a crowded airport is not for the weak-willed, it doesn’t compare to the hardships facing agents trying to pay bills and feed a family without a regular paycheck for six weeks and counting. Some have been sleeping in their cars at the airport to save on gas. Others have lost child care. Some face eviction.” And in a uniquely 2026 irony, the suffering TSA agents are being replaced by ICE (the organization at the heart of the Congressional TSA funding standoff). WaPo (Gift Article): A new nightmare awaits Americans at the airport. “Immigration agents with little public trust and training add to stress of flying for Americans.” Meanwhile, travelers flock to Clear security app to bypass TSA lines amid US airport chaos.

+ Crime Pays: “The Justice Department has settled for roughly $1.2 million a lawsuit from Michael Flynn, the former national security adviser to President Donald Trump who pleaded guilty during the Republican’s first term to lying to the FBI about his conversations with a top Russian diplomat and was later pardoned.”

+ Fitness Test: “The International Olympic Committee has barred transgender athletes from competing in the women’s category of the Olympics and said that all participants in those events must undergo genetic testing.”

+ A Sure Thing Bet: “Indeed, why not let people gamble on whether there will be a famine in Gaza? The market logic is cold and simple: More bets means more information, and more informational volume is more efficiency in the marketplace of all future happenings. But from another perspective—let’s call it, baseline morality?—the transformation of a famine into a windfall event for prescient bettors seems so grotesque as to require no elaboration.” Derek Thompson: We Haven’t Seen the Worst of What Gambling and Prediction Markets Will Do to America.

+ Let’s Chill For a Second: “Carlos Osorio, a photojournalist with Reuters, recently traveled to Canada’s northern reaches to document military exercises, daily life, robotic testing, wildlife, and more.” Scenes From the Canadian Arctic.

6. Bottom of the News

“For nearly 50 years, the Annapolis Oyster Roast & Sock Burning has marked the long-awaited return of warmer days to the East Coast boating hub — and time for sailing season to begin again.” Decades ago, a Maryland sailor burned his winter socks. Now it’s a spring tradition.

+ Damaged church floor may have revealed the grave of the fourth musketeer.

1. You Are Awesome!

Let’s start with something positive: You. Why you? Because you are awesome, you’re wonderful, your opinions are sound, your decisions are spot-on, you’re never on the wrong side of an argument, and you’re just generally a solid citizen. Don’t take my word for it. Just talk to your favorite AI for a while, and it will tell you the same thing. You may have already noticed the obsequious fawning that surfaces when you communicate with AI, but there’s a chance you’ve missed it—since, you know, it’s simply stating an obvious core truth that lives at the intersection of your rightness and righteousness. These Stuart Smalley-esque daily affirmations are baked right into the products. I know, I know. AI is known for its hallucinations, but it’s also known for being able to crunch large amounts of data and come up with a clear summary of the facts, the results of which are as follows: You deserve good things, you are entitled to your share of happiness, you are fun to be with. Hell, even when you’re in the wrong, you’re actually in the right.

“Stanford researchers tested 11 leading AI models and found they all exhibit sycophancy — a fancy word for telling people what they want to hear. On average, these chatbots agreed with users 49% more often than real humans did. Even when users described lying, manipulating partners, or breaking the law, the AI endorsed their behavior 47% of the time.” Stanford just proved your AI chatbot is flattering you into bad decisions. “Here’s the part that should worry everyone. Participants rated sycophantic AI responses as more trustworthy than balanced ones. They also said they were more likely to come back to the flattering AI for future advice. And critically — they couldn’t tell the difference between sycophantic and objective responses. Both felt equally ‘neutral’ to them.”

+ “Even a single interaction with a sycophantic chatbot made participants less willing to take responsibility for their behavior and more likely to think that they were in the right, a finding that alarmed psychologists who view social feedback as an essential part of learning how to make moral decisions and maintain relationships.” NYT (Gift Article): Seeking a Sounding Board? Beware the Eager-to-Please Chatbot.

+ Here’s the full report from Science: Sycophantic AI decreases prosocial intentions and promotes dependence. “Although affirmation may feel supportive, sycophancy can undermine users’ capacity for self-correction and responsible decision-making. Yet because it is preferred by users and drives engagement, there has been little incentive for sycophancy to diminish.” (Don’t worry. If big tech eventually does tone down the lickspittling, bootlicking, groveling, kowtowing adulation and unctuously servile toadyism, you can always replace it by having yourself a cabinet meeting.)

2. Strait Up Now Tell Me

“For the better part of the past year, Wall Street analysts and tech-industry observers have fretted publicly about an AI bubble. The fear is that too much money is coming in too fast and that generative-AI companies still have not offered anything close to a viable business model. If growth were to stall or the technology were to be seen as failing to deliver on its promises, the bubble might burst, triggering a chain reaction across the financial system. Everyone—big banks, private-equity firms, people who have no idea what’s mixed into their 401(k)—would be hit by the AI crash. Until recently, that kind of crash felt hypothetical; today, it feels plausible and, to some, almost inevitable.” The Atlantic (Gift Article) on how the Iran war might trigger some big economic problems (beyond the ones you’re already thinking about): Welcome to a Multidimensional Economic Disaster.

+ As per usual, while some people are worried about tech advancement and portfolio returns, others are worried about less lofty pursuits; like eating. NYT (Gift Article): Global Food Supply Faces a Dangerous Bottleneck as Iran War Persists. “Fertilizer prices are climbing as a result of disruptions in the Middle East, putting global food supplies at risk.”

3. Breaking Ground

“Donald Trump announced this week that the United States and Iran had made significant progress in negotiations, and he was allowing five days to reach a deal. Tehran denied that it was talking with Washington at all. This is not, in any meaningful sense, a negotiation: It is a countdown. The timing is not coincidental. Thousands of Marines and much of the 1st Brigade of the 82nd Airborne are en route to the Middle East. Trump may intend the talks to act as cover for an escalation decision already made. Even if he doesn’t, the structural reality is the same: When the deadline expires, he will be close to having significant ground-combat capability in the region and a collapsing diplomatic process to justify using it.” Thomas Wright in The Atlantic (Gift Article): The Countdown to a Ground War.

+ Or, maybe not? “[Trump] is getting a little bored with Iran … Not that he regrets it or something — he’s just bored and wants to move on.” Inside the White House divide on Iran.

+ “Secretary of State Marco Rubio said on Friday that the United States did not need to deploy ground troops to succeed in the war in Iran, which he said would end within weeks rather than months, even as Iran moved to assert its control over the critical Strait of Hormuz.” But does anyone believe Rubio is the decider on any of this stuff? Just read this craziness. “Mr. Rubio told reporters in Paris that the United States had not received a formal response from Iran to President Trump’s 15-point plan for ending the war. Mr. Trump has said that peace talks are underway and going well, but Iranian officials have said that contacts between the two countries have been minimal and mostly indirect, not yet amounting to real negotiations.” Here’s the latest from the NYT.

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4. Weekend Whats

What to Watch: “A century before the events of Game of Thrones, two unlikely heroes wander Westeros in the new series adapted from George R. R. Martin’s novella.” A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms on HBO is an awesome watch, and a great addition to the Game of Thrones world.

+ What to Hear: Last night, I took my guitar-playing teen to see the great Record Company in concert. They’re out celebrating the tenth anniversary of their Give It Back to You Album. But they’re best seen live. About thirty seconds into last night’s show, my son looked over and nodded in approval. For his old dad, that’s about as rock n’ roll as it gets.

+ What to Movie: “Marcelo (Wagner Moura) is a researcher on the run from mercenary killers after becoming the target of a dictator’s political tumult in 1977 Brazil.” The Secret Agent takes place in the 70s and unfurls at a 70s movie pace, so it’s perfect for a daytime watch on Hulu. Parts of it are also, sadly, a little too familiar.

+ What to Read: “It has also occluded something deeper: the human decisions that led to the killing of between 175 and 180 people, most of them girls between the ages of seven and 12. Someone decided to compress the kill chain. Someone decided that deliberation was latency. Someone decided to build a system that produces 1,000 targeting decisions an hour and call them high-quality. Someone decided to start this war. Several hundred people are sitting on Capitol Hill, refusing to stop it. Calling it an ‘AI problem’ gives those decisions, and those people, a place to hide.” AI got the blame for the Iran school bombing. The truth is far more worrying. (The fact that we’ve moved on from this story and only worry about gas prices is also pretty worrying…)

5. Extra, Extra

Fly By Night Outfits: The Senate passed a bill to get the TSA funding restarted. The House needs to pass something, and that could be tricky. In the meantime, the lines are getting longer. Here’s the latest from AP.

+ Black Diamond Level Warming: “Vital Arctic sea ice shrank to tie its lowest measured level for the winter, the season when ice grows.” Closer to home, ski resorts try ‘snow farming‘ as temperatures rise. “The practice involves making snow when conditions are ideal — in cold, dry weather— and piling it two to three stories high, then covering the mound with a large, insulated mat to shield it from sun and rain.”

+ Devaluing the Dollar: “Mr. Trump is set to become the first sitting U.S. president to have his signature on the greenback. His name will appear alongside that of Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent. As a result, the U.S. treasurer, whose name has been on the currency for more than a century, will not appear on the currency.” Trump’s Signature Is Set to Be Added to America’s Currency. (How’s he gonna sign the dollar? Sorry for your loss?)

+ Star Wars: “Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth’s highly unusual decision to remove officers from a one-star promotion list has spurred allegations of racial and gender bias.” Hegseth Strikes Two Black and Two Female Officers From Promotion List.

+ Yay! Wait… TechDirt’s Mike Masnik is worried about the latest big tech court rulings. “First things first: Meta is a terrible company that has spent years making terrible decisions and being terrible at explaining the challenges of social media trust & safety, all while prioritizing growth metrics over user safety.” But… Everyone Cheering The Social Media Addiction Verdicts Against Meta Should Understand What They’re Actually Cheering For.

+ Jerk Chickens: “OpenAI has put the kibosh on yet another project — at least for the time being. On Thursday, the Financial Times reported that the AI company would be ‘indefinitely’ pausing plans to develop an ‘erotic’ mode for ChatGPT.” (Oh well, you’ve still got NextDraft…)

6. Feel Good Friday

“During the 10 years when she cleaned the medical institution, her mother became ill, and Taylor-Allen realized she wanted to advocate for patients the same way doctors helped her mother.” Woman Matches into Residency at Same Hospital Where She Worked as a Janitor for 10 Years. And more on the story: After a decade as a Yale hospital janitor, she is now a doctor there.

+ “You want to try to meet the moment. The No Kings movement is of great import right now. When you have the opportunity to sing something where the timing is essential and if you have something powerful to sing, it elevates the moment, it elevates your job to another level. And I’m always in search of that … I don’t worry about [blowback]. My job is very simple: I do what I want to do, I say what I want to say and then people get to say what they want to say about it. Those are the rules of my game. That’s fine with me.” The Boss gets you warmed up for No Kings rallies this weekend. Springsteen says recent Minneapolis show was his most meaningful ever.

+ Tango Therapy: How the Dance of Passion Is Helping Parkinson’s Patients. Plus, “I thought my Parkinson’s was the end of my life, but dancing changed everything.”

+ A new labor agreement represents a breakthrough in women’s-sports history. The WNBA Players Got What They Wanted.

+ Scientists Filmed a Whale Birth. The Surprise: Mom Had Many Helpers.

+ Stranded couple rescued from Oahu floods after writing ‘SOS’ on beach.

1. Going Hungary

Let’s start with a recipe. It’s one that takes a while, but it’s already in progress. It turns apple pie into Hungarian goulash. What do you get when it’s fully baked? Anne Applebaum lists some of the ingredients in The Atlantic (Gift Article): “Flick through pro-government Hungarian accounts on TikTok, and you might see an AI-generated version of Volodymyr Zelensky, the president of Ukraine, sitting on a golden toilet, counting his money, snorting cocaine, and barking orders at a Hungarian soldier. You might also find an AI-generated Péter Magyar, the leader of the Hungarian opposition, appearing to say he’s fine with handing Hungarian factories over to foreigners, as long as he’s the one in charge of the country … You won’t find much about Hungary itself, which is not an accident. In recent years political parties around the world have produced surrealist campaigns, comic campaigns, conspiratorial campaigns, even beer-drinking campaigns. But on any list of strange elections, the 2026 parliamentary election in Hungary will stand out.” This may be the world’s first post-reality campaign. I know what you’re thinking. Don’t we have enough lies and obfuscations to worry about when it comes to our own country and its upcoming election? Yes, we do. But, sadly, the two stories are related. What you see as the demoniacal demolition of democracy, others see as an achievable and worthy aspiration (and I’m not just talking about the golden toilet). “Not long ago, the U.S. government would have vocally defended the democratic process in Hungary, and might have sought to downplay wild claims about fictional Ukrainian invasions. Instead, the Trump administration is doing its best to amplify them. Strange though it sounds, Hungary, although a tiny country in Central Europe, plays an outsize role in the imagination of the American and European far right: MAGA and its international wing understand that the Hungarian election, the most important in Europe this year, could mark a turning point in the war of ideas that has convulsed the democratic world for the past decade.”

2. We Haven’t Shuffled Off This Mortal Oil

With 50,000 American troops in the Middle East and a threat of a ground war, even Trump doesn’t know what to believe about what Trump is saying. “President Trump zigzagged from claims of diplomatic progress to renewed threats of destruction on Monday, sending new shocks through oil markets as he sought to pressure Iran to make a deal to end the monthlong war.” Here’s the latest from the NYT.

+ “Australian farmers are planting less wheat. South Koreans were urged to take shorter showers. Russia is getting a little richer. Thailand’s premier wore short-sleeved shirts to work and urged others to do the same.” How the Iran War Has Rippled Across the World. One thing we’re seeing is reduced consumption. But a bigger thing we’re seeing is the burning of more coal. This Is What Happens When the Gas Runs Out. So this must be good for the EV industry, right? Well, not so fast. “The aluminum that gives electric vehicles their range is now stuck behind the same choke point as the oil they were built to replace.”

+ Meanwhile, oil is up again on the entrance into the war by “the Houthis, an Iran-backed proxy militia based in Yemen, threatening safety in the Bab el-Mandeb Strait between Yemen and Djibouti.”

+ And here’s a twist: Ukraine Finalizes Air Defense Deals With Gulf Nations Amid War in Mideast. “In the Mideast conflict, Ukraine has sought to shift its image from a recipient of military aid to a supplier. It sees an opening to export its low-cost, innovative designs created during the war with Russia to compensate for shortages of weapons and ammunition. Ukraine’s military often relies on consumer technologies such as virtual-reality goggles for gamers and off-the-shelf drone components.”

3. Over the Moon

“Artemis II is something of an elaborate dress rehearsal. The goal is to demonstrate that many of the major components of the Artemis program – the Boeing-built Space Launch System rocket and the Lockheed Martin-built Orion space capsule – can safely send a crew beyond the moon and back.” Bloomberg (Gift Article) with an illustrated guide to what NASA is up to, and why. Around the Moon and Back.

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4. Kingdom Comeuppance

We may have crossed a critical threshold over the weekend. The protests are spreading faster than the measles. Organizers said eight million people turned out for the No Kings protests. The scenes were amazing. Here’s a collection of Photos From the Third Nationwide ‘No Kings’ Protest.

5. Extra, Extra

Rogue Won: “Whenever and however America’s war with Iran ends, it has both exposed and exacerbated the dangers of our new, fractured, multipolar reality—driving deeper wedges between the United States and former friends and allies; strengthening the hands of the expansionist great powers, Russia and China; accelerating global political and economic chaos; and leaving the United States weaker and more isolated than at any time since the 1930s. Even success against Iran will be hollow if it hastens the collapse of the alliance system that for eight decades has been the true source of America’s power, influence, and security.” Robert Kagen: America Is Now a Rogue Superpower.

+ Making a List: “When I started Craigslist in the mid-1990s I never thought I’d become rich. But I did. A lot of people in tech around that time also got lucky. Millions — even billions — were made simply by being in the right place at the right time. That’s too much money for anyone to have, so I’m giving most of it away to people and causes that need it.” Craigslist Made Me Rich. Giving the Money Away Is Easy. (Amidst all the whining from tech billionaires who somehow view themselves as being victimized by this era, it’s refreshing to hear someone admit how f–cking lucky we are.)

+ Aiding and A Betting: “A new product liability lawsuit alleges that the online sportsbooks DraftKings and FanDuel use a variety of sophisticated tactics to addict users, comparing their offerings to tobacco, cocaine, and heroin. The case, filed by the Public Health Advocacy Institute (PHAI) at Northeastern University School of Law on behalf of two former gamblers, is being led by Richard Daynard — the same lawyer who secured a $206 billion settlement from the tobacco industry … Specifically, the plaintiffs allege that the two companies ‘capture every aspect of a customer’s interaction in real-time through automated analytical tools, and then process the data through predictive algorithms to generate bets that are optimized to stimulate compulsive gambling.'”

+ This Guy’s Got Some Ballroom: “Critics warn it still has many issues — its portico is too big, its stairs lead nowhere, its columns will block views from inside the ballroom.” Trump’s Ballroom Design Has Barely Been Scrutinized.

+ Sheer Madness: March seemed a little short on madness (at least on the basketball court). But then we saw one of the maddest moments of all. The Athletic: I witnessed Christian Laettner’s shot. UConn’s game-winner from Braylon Mullins was better.

+ Welcome to Macintosh: “But in almost every way that mattered, the Macintosh was right. Right about how we’d use computers going forward. Right about the idea that computers needed to be less complicated. Right about the fact that caring this deeply about both hardware and software design would make a difference.” As part of its series on Apple at 50, The Verge (Gift Article) with a video review of how the Macintosh changed computers forever. (It definitely had the same effect on me as it had on computers.)

+ Timbre-land: At the start of the year, Anthony Palmini was taken down by a terrible cold. That was bad news for him. And potentially bad news for romance. He’s the voice of romantasy audiobooks’ biggest heartthrobs.

6. Bottom of the News

“In our peptides-pumping, cosmetic-surgery obsessed world, Alloclae is being marketed as the latest body-buffing hack for anyone seeking to level up their appearance. The process is minimally invasive and largely safe, as long as you can get your head around where that extra va-voom has come from.” People are pumping themselves with fat from corpses to perk up their pecs, boobs and butts. (How’d you like to agree to be a donor and end up there?)

+ Thieves make a break with over 400,000 KitKat bars in Europe.

1. Time Change

Sammy Davis Jr’s rendition of the theme song from the seventies show Baretta was so stellar that it created an adage that has lasted for half a century. But has the phrase Don’t do the crime if you can do the time finally run out of steam? These days, if you commit the right kind of crime or are connected to the right people, it may not lead to much time at all. From ProPublica: Trump’s Justice Department Dropped 23,000 Criminal Investigations in Shift to Immigration. “The change in priorities was outlined in a series of memos sent to attorneys early last year. Trump’s DOJ has said it is ‘turning a new page on white-collar and corporate enforcement’ and emphasizing the pursuit of drug cartels, illegal immigrants and institutions that promote ‘divisive DEI policies.'” Of course, this trend doesn’t do much to help those who were sentenced for their crimes before the big shift. For them, we have the now wildly popular pardon program. And you’ll never guess what happens when you pardon a large group of criminals without any legitimate reasons. (Hint: They don’t keep their eye on the sparrow.) NYT Editorial Board (Gift Article): The People Trump Pardoned Are on a Crime Spree. Trump “has created a veritable pardon industry, in which people with White House connections accept payments from wealthy convicts … Worst of all, Mr. Trump granted clemency on the first day of his second term to everyone who stormed the Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021 … The results have been disastrous. At least 12 of the pardoned rioters have since been charged with other serious crimes, including child molestation, assault, harassment, murder plots and charges related to a vicious dog attack. The outcome was predictable.”

2. Conversion Reversion

“Colorado may regard its policy as essential to public health and safety. But the First Amendment stands as a shield against any effort to enforce orthodoxy in thought or speech in this country.” So wrote Justice Neil M. Gorsuch as the Supreme Court Rejected a Colorado Law Banning ‘Conversion Therapy’ for L.G.B.T.Q. Minors. “Only Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson dissented, reading a lengthy summary of her opposition from the bench … ‘This decision might make speech-only therapies and other medical treatments involving practitioner speech effectively unregulatable,’ she wrote, criticizing her eight colleagues for having made ‘this momentous decision without adequately grappling with the potential long-term and disastrous implications.'”

3. Pump Your Own Gas

“You’ll have to start learning how to fight for yourself, the U.S.A. won’t be there to help you anymore, just like you weren’t there for us. Iran has been, essentially, decimated. The hard part is done. Go get your own oil!” Trump tells Europe ‘Go get your own oil,’ Iran hits oil tanker off Dubai. Meanwhile, Trump said to tell aides he’s willing to end Iran war without reopening Hormuz. Are these mood swings and outbursts part of a broader pullback? The market seems to think so. (But as I’ve written, like everything else, the market has been a little off lately…)

+ “After private grumbling at the start of the war that they were not given adequate advance notice of the U.S.-Israeli attack and complaining the U.S. had ignored their warnings that the war would have devastating consequences for the entire region, some of the regional allies are making the case to the White House that the moment offers a historic opportunity to cripple Tehran’s clerical rule once and for all.” Gulf allies privately make the case to Trump to keep fighting until Iran is decisively defeated.

+ B-52s have started flying missions over Iran, and Israel is creating a larger buffer zone in Lebanon. Here’s the latest from NYT and The Guardian.

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4. To Some Degree

“The report, based on research from the Yale Tobin Center for Economic Policy, found that graduate degrees in medicine, law and pharmacy generally have the highest return on investment. By contrast, degrees in popular fields such as social work, psychology, and curriculum and instruction may actually have a zero to negative return after factoring in the full cost.” WaPo (Gift Article): Some of the most popular graduate degrees don’t pay off financially, study finds. (I’m still confident that my PhD in Newsletters will pay off eventually…)

5. Extra, Extra

Refined Crude Policy: “The Trump administration has blocked energy shipments to Cuba since January as part of a strategy to force the Communist government into submission. Mr. Trump said in a January social media post: ‘THERE WILL BE NO MORE OIL OR MONEY GOING TO CUBA — ZERO!'” So what made him change his mind as a Russian tanker full of crude approached Cuba? After Months of Threats, Trump Softens His Stance on Blocking Oil to Cuba.

+ Space Needs Some Space: Space might need a rebrand, because it’s getting really crowded up there. “Today, the space around Earth can no longer be considered empty. More than 30,000 objects are in orbit, and that figure is rising exponentially.” ‘This feels fragile’: how a satellite-smashing chain reaction could spiral out of control.

+ Meditation Retreat: “The leader of a sex-focused women’s wellness company that promoted ‘orgasmic meditation’ was sentenced to nine years in federal prison for a scheme that a judge said exploited vulnerable women and coerced them into performing sex acts with the company’s clients and investors.”

+ Plot Twist: Given the seemingly nonstop stream of new shows appearing across the many streaming apps, you’d think this would be a golden era for those working in Hollywood. But that’s not how the script is playing out. See How Hollywood’s Job Market Is Collapsing. “Hollywood studios are making significantly fewer movies and television shows than they did just a few years ago. The ones they do make are increasingly being shot in other countries and states that offer more generous tax subsidies. The result: a 30% drop in employment from a late-2022 peak for actors, carpenters, costumers and the hundreds of other professions that make movies and TV shows.”

+ Dis Service: “ICE agents will be stationed outside graduation events for the nation’s newest Marines to identify whether any of their family members are undocumented, according to the Marine Corps.”

+ California Rolling: Everyone is getting sticker shock at the gas pumps these days. Californians know the feeling. We get it all the time. There are a few reasons why we pay more than the rest of you. The Difference Between California-Produced Gas And The Other 49 States.

+ Getting Rock Off: “The army has launched an administrative review after two AH-64 Apache helicopters on a training run hovered near the hillside home of Kid Rock as the outspoken supporter of Donald Trump saluted their crews.” (Maybe they were trying to drown out the music?)

+ There’s No Sugar Substitute: “Spectators would watch the furry white canine in amazement as she balanced on her surfboard, riding wave after wave back to the shore, sometimes with her owner, Ryan Rustan, by her side and other times all on her own.” Sugar The Surfing Dog, the first canine inducted into the Surfer’s Hall of Fame, dies.

6. Bottom of the News

“On Saturday afternoon, Downey joined around 200 strangers at Ocean Beach for the 13th ‘Hole Party,’ a loosely organized gathering dedicated to the ancient, questionably productive act of digging.” SF’s most pointless gathering is surprisingly popular. Basically, a bunch of people meet at the beach where they dig a giant hole and then fill it back in. (Maybe they’re training to be news curators…)

+ A college instructor turns to typewriters to curb AI-written work and teach life lessons.

1. Shoot For the Moon

April 1st is a day when people share stories that seem real until you realize they’re fake. That contrasts with every day in 2026 when we’re confronted with stories that seem like they must be fake until we realize, much to our chagrin, they’re real. Let’s go with a third option. Let’s forget, just for one blurb in one edition of this newsletter, all the craziness and distortions that dominate our streams and dreams, and focus instead on what, during normal times, would be the leading story of the day: one that includes some very out of fashion elements, such as positivity, science, human achievement, diversity, unity, a projectile fired into the sky that’s not intended to blow things up, and best of all, the glorious prospect of getting the hell out of here (like way out) for a few days. I know, I know, I’m asking for the moon. But it looks like I might get it (or at least close to it). Crowds are already gathering for the scheduled launch of Artemis II, a historic NASA mission that will shoot astronauts around the moon and back on a 10-day mission. I’m a mere Humanities major, but I’m told by the internet that following a violent collision between Earth and a protoplanet named Theia, the moon was formed from the ensuing debris. Well, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. So let’s go check it out. It’s got to beat the garbage we’re dealing with down here…

+ “Before taking his last steps on the moon, NASA astronaut Gene Cernan made sure to scratch his young daughter’s initials into the lunar dust. He had some parting thoughts for the rest of humanity, too. ‘We leave as we came and, God willing, as we shall return, with peace and hope for all mankind,’ the Apollo 17 commander said before departing for Earth. That was December 1972. Now, more than half a century later, NASA may be about to fulfill Cernan’s wishes.”

+ “Their path through space could send the group farther from Earth than any human has ever ventured, surpassing the Apollo 13 distance record of 248,655 miles set in 1970.” Even though the celebration of the crew’s diversity (across race, gender, and even Canadian lines) has been deleted from government websites, it can’t be deleted from reality. Meet NASA’s Artemis II astronauts.

+ And now that you’ve met them, let’s get to know how they’ll go to the bathroom. SciAm: Artemis II’s toilet is a moon mission milestone. And a short video from BBC: “When you’re in zero gravity, how do you go to the toilet? That’s what Nasa scientists have spent more than $23 million figuring out in time for the launch of Artemis II later this week.” (I spent nearly that much on a Toto Washlet…)

+ Photos: Counting Down to the Launch of Artemis II.

+ Here’s the latest from NBC and NASA.

2. Deal or No Deal

Of course, no one would possibly try to preempt coverage of a unifying human effort like a literal moonshot. Yeah, and the moon is made of cheese. President Trump has scheduled an Oval Office address around the same time as the Artemis II launch to provide an update on the Iran war. (After exploring space, NASA should increase the range of its rocket and try to explore the far reaches of Trump’s ego.) Ahead of the speech, Trump said Iran has asked for a ceasefire. Iran says it hasn’t. Meanwhile, Trump says he’s definitely considering leaving NATO. Here’s the latest from The Guardian and NYT.

+ There have been a variety of war goals that have come and gone, but getting rid of Iran’s ability to make nuclear weapons has always been at the top of the list. Has it been achieved? David E. Sanger in the NYT (Gift Article): Iran Maintains Nuclear Capacities Despite Trump’s Claim of U.S. Success.

+ Thomas Friedman in the NYT (Gift Article): “If this were not the leadership of my own country — and if Iran were not, indeed, the most destabilizing force in the Middle East and its transformation not a worthy goal for its own people and its neighbors — I’d just sit back and watch the show, savoring the spectacle of Trump getting what he deserves. But it is my country. Iran going nuclear is a threat that could unleash nuclear proliferation all across the Middle East. And we are all going to get what Trump deserves.”

+ “Rarely has a president been surrounded by such an array of toadies and lickspittles, operating beyond their competence in an atmosphere of organizational chaos.” Eliot A. Cohen in The Atlantic (Gift Article): Lions Led by Donkeys.

3. Birthright and Wrong

“In a post on his social media site, Trump says falsely the United States is the ‘only Country in the World STUPID enough to allow Birthright” Citizenship!’ In fact, the United States is one of more than 30 countries that confer citizenship at birth with no conditions.” (Since America has the world’s leading economy and military, wouldn’t our citizenship policies be considered pretty SMART!) Trump attended part of the SCOTUS oral arguments (becoming the first president to do so). Let’s hope the act of intimidation (and the ridiculous arguments) don’t carry the day. Key Justices Appear Skeptical of Limiting Birthright Citizenship.

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4. Breaking Out of a Slump

“On phone calls over the past couple of weeks, we talked about cheating commissioners and deadbeat team owners, about booze- and weed-fueled draft rooms and end-of-season punishments for league losers. We talked about how difficult it can be to make small talk with other parents at the playground, about the ways relationships wither as we age. We talked, to a shocking degree, about death.” The Fantasy Baseball Ties That Bind. “How do fantasy sports leagues fit into the larger story of the male loneliness epidemic? You might be surprised.” (The Giants have won two in a row. That’s all the fantasy I need…)

5. Extra, Extra

How Will the Crude Feud Conclude? “If there’s irony here, it’s the tragic kind. The administration’s war of choice has made energy dangerously expensive in nearly every corner of the globe, causing needless suffering. The most fossil fuel-friendly government in recent U.S. history has shown us all just how risky reliance on oil and gas can be — and taught the world that true energy security lies in accelerating toward a cleaner, electrified future.” This Energy Crisis Is Going to Change the World. (We can hope…)

+ Swindler’s List: Proof that no headlines can shock us anymore: Federal Judge Approves Trump Effort to Obtain List of Jews From Penn. (I won’t even release the names of the Jews coming to my seder tonight.)

+ They’re Not Being Campy: You may view the phrase alpha male as ironic or funny, but “there are plenty of American men these days who regard alpha masculinity—or ‘warrior mode,’ or ‘modern knighthood,’ or other such appellations—not ironically but aspirationally. There are now programs offering to help such men achieve these aspirations, or something close … At the Men of War Crucible, you bear-crawl through rivers. At Warrior Week, you dig your own grave.” The New Yorker: The Camps Promising to Turn You—or Your Son—Into an Alpha Male. (And I thought I had it bad going away to camps that made you want to never go to camp again…)

+ Noemenclatures: “These men all knew Bryon Noem as the nice, tall insurance salesman who married Kristi Arnold, the town beauty queen who grew up to be governor. But now there were these pictures.” NYT (Gift Article): In South Dakota, Neighbors Feel Sorry for Kristi Noem’s Husband. (I sort of felt sorry for him before the pictures.)

+ Kid Gloves: Hegseth reverses Army’s suspension of aircrew who flew helicopters near Kid Rock’s home. “No punishment. No investigation, Carry on, patriots.” (I haven’t heard that line since Deflategate…)

+ Masters and Disasters: Tiger Woods says he’ll seek treatment after pleading not guilty to DUI.

+ Boss > King: “This past winter, federal troops brought death and terror to the streets of Minneapolis. Well they picked the wrong town. The power, the solidarity of the people of Minneapolis, of Minnesota, was an inspiration to the entire country. Your strength and your commitment told us this is still America. And this will not stand.” To kick off his tour, Bruce Springsteen Brings Fiery Speeches and Songs to Minneapolis. (He really couldn’t be rising to the occasion any more than he is.)

6. Bottom of the News

As I argue annually, April Fool’s Day pranks should have been canceled after the greatest one of them all. George Plimpton: The Curious Case Of Sidd Finch.